It was Wednesday, October 8th. I had gone out for the night to my friend, Misti Tompkin's father's wake and had spent a lot of time there talking to old friends and catching up. I was standing the whole night and complained to my friends how I was ready to have the baby. My friend Carolyn said that she had just sent vibes to have her other friend go into labor so she was going to the same for me. My Kathleen said that her brother's bday was on the ninth so I should have the baby then. My best friend, Arin, who is an obgyn said that she could break my water for me in the bathroom if I wanted. All these encouraging words plus I had been on "whentoexpectyourbaby.com" and they had said that I was going to have my baby on October 8 and he was going to weight 7lbs 10 oz. I was ready.
That night I got home and Tate was already in bed so it was past 8 pm. I spent some time with David and then he was off to work. I went to bed suspecting nothing. Then at about 11:30 pm I woke up to a pop like feeling in my uterus and then a gush of water. I immediately felt that it was my water breaking. I ran to the bathroom and the fluid just kept going. I knew it was either my water breaking or something that I needed to have checked right away. So I hurried and called my parents to make sure they were awake so I could drop off Tate and then I called David at work to let him know that my water had broke and I think that he should come home. While waiting for David I took a shower and packed anything I thought I might need. David got home about 12:45 and we were off to the hospital after dropping Tate off at the farm. I wasn't in a hurry to get to the hospital but David was and even blew a stop sign on our way.
We arrived at the hospital and got checked in and ready to go. I was feeling contractions at this point but they were very mild. Once every five to 10 minutes I would feel a little pressure but nothing that was even that painful. They first ran a test to see if it really was my water breaking. The first test was inconclusive but the second one came back positive. By this time I was feeling little contractions but nothing big they felt like slightly intense menstrual cramps. I was in my room by 2:00 am, (as I heard the woman next door to me screaming out loudly in pain) hooked up to monitors for the baby's heart rate and ready for what the future was going to bring. They had the monitor around my belly and a couple times the baby’s heartrate slowed but I didn’t think anything of it as the nurses did not seem worried. At about 4 am david headed to the bathroom and the nurse's came rushing in saying that the baby's heart rate dropped too low and they started having me switch from side to side in case the baby was on the umbilical cord. Luckily, the heart rate picked back up and started to increase and everything was fine. As a precaution since the heartrate continued to drop and then pick up and then drop the nurse's decided they wanted to put a monitor directly on the baby's head to make sure they were getting an accurate reading of the baby's heart rate instead of just the one on my belly.... I agreed. The nurses checked me and I still was only dilated a 1 cm therefore, getting a monitor on the baby was impossible. They brought the ultrasound machine in to make sure the baby's head was down and it was. They decided to let me dilate more and wait for the doctor to come in the morning for more direction. The doctor came in about 7 am and she said that my water hadn't completely broken so she went ahead and ruptured the rest of the bag so my water completely broke. Hoping it would help me dilate and she started pitocin. Within minutes of her breaking my water the baby's heart rate dropped again. Four nurses along with the doctor came rushing in to see if they could get the heart rate up again. They were trying to move the baby around to get the heart rate up and get a monitor on the baby. It was a very scary moment and as soon as the heart rate started to increase I started to cry. I was starting to get worried that the baby needed to come out as soon as possible. I was also feeling a lot of pressure from having to go to the bathroom. I really had to pee and just couldn’t. I finally requested a catheter because the added pressure was coming too much and after the pressure was released I felt soooo much better.
For the next two hours I continued to labor and the contractions were getting worse and more painful. Finally, at 9 am I said I was ready for an epidural and within 30 mins the anesthesiologist was there. I was very happy to see him. After some time of talking and preparing he was administering the epidural and it was already working by 10 am. It was not as bad as I thought it would be but it was amazing. As soon as it was in my spine the contractions became shorter and shorter. Until I wasn't feeling them at all. It was amazing. But within 15 mins of me on the epidural, David said he was going to the restroom and, of course, the baby's heart rate dropped again. Once again, the nurses came rushing in putting me on each side trying to get the heart rate to rise again and this time they didn't succeed. They quickly said they were taking me for an emergency c section because they couldn't get the heart rate up in the three minutes they tried. My doctor was at St. Joseph so they were going to call her but the doctor on call was going to have to deliver the baby. By this time I was a wreck and completely in shock that within seconds the entire plan had changed! I really think I didn’t even have time to digest what was happening. They quickly wheeled me to the emergency room and I was on the table within minutes. I was crying hysterically by this point. A nurse in the room came over to me and explained that they were going to slow things down at this point because the baby's heart rate was back up to 150 but they were still getting me ready for the c section and were going to wait for my doctor to get there. She told me to breathe and calm down but it was too late I was hysterical and hyperventilating. I remember seeing David in the hallway getting dressed and I kept looking for him to make sure he was there for the delivery. Finally I turned to the right and he was sitting by my head and I asked him if he got the camera and he said no and I think that made me more hysterical. Poor David but just trying to take everything in and it was freaking me out. Were we going to loose the baby? By that time Dr. Emm had arrived and they started the c-section. The amount of pressure I felt was unbearable and I started to scream out in pain and fear and I turned to the anesthesiologist to my left and told him that I was feeling everything and the anesthesiologist decided to knock me out completely. The last think I remember is watching the anesthesiologist pushing the entire amount of meds in his suring into my IV quickly. I was out.
Since I was in "LaLa Land" I don't remember much. The drugs were very strong and as soon as they gave them to me I went into a state that I was completely not seeing anything and I couldn't move or talk or distinguish between reality and the drugs. It was like I was on a HUGE drug trip. I vaguely remember I heard the baby cry when he came out but that's all I remember about the birth. David said they didn't ask him to cut the cord so I think they were in a hurry. I also remember David rubbing my hand and telling me to look at the baby but I really didn't know what that meant. (David later told me that I was starring right at him and the baby but the nurse told him that I couldn’t hear anything) I also remember that when I heard him cry it was very short and then complete silence and I remember thinking in my head there must be something wrong with him because no one was talking and saying how cute he was. David later told me that he didn’t cry right away, which even made David concerned, he said the doctor opened me up and said “there you are, you’ve been causing a lot of trouble” and then she pulled out and he didn’t cry right away but then he he did cry a lot and David said that’s when he cried too. And people were saying how cute and perfect he was. The next thing I remember is being alone on the surgery table and the doctor stapling me up and talking to each other and then the nurses moving me back to my bed. I have no idea if David or the baby was in the room at this point. In my head I was scared they were going to drop me on the floor because I had absolutely no control of myself. And then back to the room. I'm assuming I passed out again but then when I woke up I saw David sitting in the corner holding the baby. No one was saying anything and I started to worry that there was something wrong with the baby. David then came over and laid the baby right by my head. I could see him but I couldn't talk or move my hands so I think I just cried. The next thing I remember is them giving him a bath in the sink and he was screaming.
About two hours later I was finally coming out of the drugs. I was finally able to move but talking made me feel like I had a stroke. The words weren't coming out no matter how hard I tried to speak them. It was scary and I didn't know if that was normal or not. David kept asking me if I wanted to hold him but I didn't feel safe about it and the first time I held him was later that afternoon.
It was definitely not the delivery that I intended and it was scary as hell but David constantly reminds me that our healthy boy is here and we are both okay and that's all that matters. At the end of the day, he is absolutely right, but I still wish we would have gotten those delivery pictures.
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